<3 Kenzi

I love Kenzi. Cause he has never doubted me.
He tells me when I have a problem.
He tells me when I don’t have a problem.
He listens though he never change.
He nags though I never change.
He knows exactly what makes me happy and does it everytime , even if it was because he gamed too much and made me unhappy, and it will still cheer me up regardless.
He knows exactly what makes me angry, but does it anyway, cox he knows I will forgive him, once he feed me enough anyway.
He doesn’t get jealous even if I was crying over another person.
He doesn’t get me jealous even if he was crying over another person.
He loves me as I am, despite all the silly things I do, and laughes at all my flaws and say its no biggie, he loves them anyway.
He even loves how I love him, despite all the silly things he does, and me laughing at his flaws, but I still love him anyway.
From time to time, he makes me really angry, but from time to time, he makes me really glad that he is there no matter what.

A day late but Happy 2 yr Kenzi~ <3 <3 MAY WE RULE THE WORLD HOHOHO~

Days like these

These days, I’ve continually thought about stuff over and over again in my head.
I don’t get it.

So I’ve decided to just do whatever I want to.
I can’t care anymore.

.

How do I believe in friendship when this keeps happening.
Why didn’t you defend me when you heard of it?
You said you can’t assume it is not real.
Why didn’t you tell me when you heard of it?
You said you can’t break people’s trust.
So you leave me to be misunderstood by others.
And leave me more with disappointment and very heartbroken.

It is like the past all over again.
Why did I let myself believe in you?
Why did I let myself believe in friendship?
Why did I leave such a big weakness open?
Why am I so fucking stupid?

Why do I leave myself open again to being heartbroken?
Have not I be taught enough lessons?
To not care for someone, because it will lead up to this eventually.

This hurts too badly.
Way too much.

…

Sometimes I wonder.

Will it be better for 2 people of the same personalities to be with each other? Then they will understand what each other is thinking about, then they would be less likely to hurt each other, and they can slowly learn to trust each other.

I wonder if it is the answer I have been looking for. It does fill the hole of many questions that I have but I couldnt ask for the fear of trending on sensitive issues.

If that is the case, would it be better if I went away, and leave all these behind. Would you be happier then?

I am sorry for taking this long to understand this very tiny bit.. Even if i understood, I might forget. Even if i knew, I might end up hurting you again. And each time, all I can say is I am sorry.

 

Running.

My greatest wish for most of my life is to see people around me being happy, regardless of anything, I just want people around me to be happy. It sounds like a fluke even if I am typing this now, maybe because within a few weeks, I’ve feel like I have hurt so many people and only made them unhappy with how I am.

Then last night, I’ve decided on my own that I want to run away. Running away wont solve problems. That much I know, but it will give me space and time to think about what kind of shit person I have been towards my friends, just because of my own stupid actions. I have always been a logical person and in control of myself. I should stop getting dragged around by myself then losing myself in the process. It feels stupid, sounds stupid and is stupid.

I want to find peace with myself, lock that inner monster in , and then go back to who I am. Stupid and hyper but at least happy. I am sick of myself acting like this, selfish and unthinkable of.

And I felt my heart break a little. Just when I thought I could be unfeeling about the situation.
I think it is because after all I did, your primary concern is still on whether the other side of the friendship holds. So no matter what else i do, you wont look back anymore.

多的是 你不知道的事

Sheryl Nome : Planet’s Twinkle

Vic @Sheryl Nome
William @Photographer

Bakemonogatari : Hitagi And Shinobu

Cosfest X.1
Vic @ Hitagi Senjougahara
Kirie @ Shinobu Oshino

Accepting differences.

There are always things which are easier to accept, and things which are harder to accept.

If I have just accepted things which are easier to accept, and push away things which are harder to accept, will I be happier now?

I really don’t know.

I know it is easier to accept people who havnt hurt you before, but with time, regardless of who it is, even people who are close to you, people will hurt you whether if it is intentional or not.
Does that mean you’ll stop loving them because they have hurt you?
I don’t know, but I will continue to love them, just because they were by my side when I needed them.
And because, they matter enough to me, so these hurtful things doesn’t matter.

So, yes. I do love you.
I can’t stop you to doubt if you should love me just because I have hurt you before.
Maybe I am not worth it in your eyes, which is why you are doubting it.
But just to let you know, I have never once doubt you or my love for you.
Because you matter that much to me.

Sheryl Nome – Diamond Crevasse

Vic @ Sheryl Nome
Rescend @ Photographer
Xeno @ Photographer Assistant
Kanasaiii @ Make Up
Nao, Blacklash, Lynn, Lenneth @ Helper